To The Girl He Loved After Me

To The Girl He Loved After Me

I used to hate hearing your name.

It tore me apart thinking about how you'd be at his house each night. How you'd be the girl he was holding and not me.

I'd get so jealous when I saw the instagram photos and see how happy he was with you and thinking, why her? Why not me?

I thought I knew him best, I thought he was the one.

Was.

It used to be us, sitting downstairs in his couch, cuddling, watching a movie when his little brother would jump on us. He would always let his little brother sit with us.

Then his mom would bring us cookies and milk. His mother is so kind, he loves her more than he will ever love you or me.

His mom loved me, I was the daughter she never had. But now, she has you.

I shouldn't have given up on him so early, I shouldn't have gotten insecure and demanded impossible things.

I shouldn't have said goodbye and I'll always regret it.

Regret.

We fell apart. I found a new love before he did, I could move on but I didn't want him to.

But he did.

I wished you were ugly. Had some terrible life. I wished you didn't take such cute pictures or have such a fun life.

But, you did.

I remember the first time he told me he loved me. I said some terrible joke and he said "haha, that's why I love you" he didn't mean to say it. In fact he ran around the room screaming saying it was an accident. Then he pulled me in close.

It was the greatest accident he and I ever had.

But know I've moved on. I've found a love that even I can't explain. And you found him.

Treat him right.

Love him more than I ever did. He was mine for 6 months, make him yours for 60 years.

I pray it works out better than it did between him and I.

Love,
      -The Girl He Loved Before You

My Name Is Hope

I have seen two decades, the world at war and technology changing,

I am a 90s baby.

We are the last of our kind, but also the first.

We grew up in a generation of playing outside,

Yet we became known in a world of technology.

I have felt the pain of a nation when those towers fell,

I am daddy’s little girl, living in a terror filled world.

We were too young to understand.

We wanted to tell mommy to stop crying,

Yet we were too scared to move.

I have heard people around me fight cancer, battle disease, and react to Ebola,

I am a teenager in these desperate times.

We are the worlds hope for the future.

We are looked down upon,

Yet they expect so much from us.

I am a living Hope for a nation,

I am a child of God.

We are the last of a decade.

We are the last of the 90s babies,

Yet we are a living hope.

Technology or Bible?

Now days our lives depend on technology; it seems we can’t go a moment without checking our phones or computers. But is all this “checking of our phones” good? I’m not going to get deep into statics or any of that because that’s not my point. My point is that instead of checking our phones why not check our Bible? Ya I know, that’s a real Sunday school answer, but hang in there with me. I know I check my phone every chance I get, maybe its a text, a snap chat, Facebook, iFunny or Twitter. What would happen if I checked my Bible as often as my phone? I would know the Bible pretty well...I would have a lot of verses memorized.

Now I’ve got you thinking. What's the purpose of memorizing Bible verses? If you're anything like me, you like to meet new people. But there;s a price to doing that; not everyone is a Christian. At some point they’ll figure out youre a Christian, maybe they’ll accept it and ask you about it and become a Christian, or, maybe they’ll go after you. We’ve been preparing for days such as these for years, this is where knowing your Bible comes into play. They’ll test you, mock you, say the Bible is a lie. Fire back at them verses, be Jesus with skin on, let your light shine.

I ask you this: Do you know your Bible? Or do you know everything that's happening on Facebook right now. I can’t tell you which is better to know, that's something you need to figure out on your own. I’m not against technology, I’m for it, but only the good of it.

Running Scared

Most people are scarred of spiders, death, Ebola and cancer. I've never been one to go with the crowd. That's just not who I am. When I think fear I think losing people. Not in the death sort of way but in the friendship way. Losing a friend is like losing your right arm. When you had it you knew it was always there for you. You could depend on it, most of all you knew you always had it. Then one day there's an accident. And its gone. Nothings the same. You learn to live without it but everything's changed. But that's the hardest part. Change. Maybe that's because I'm Dutch, and us Dutch don't like change. 

Or maybe its from my dad, who despises change. 

The hardest part about change is accepting it.

A while ago I broke up with a boy from this school. He had been my best friend, we'd gone through it all. Then he changed, he wasn't the boy I knew I could depend on. He got mean. I went to him and I told him it wouldn't work out. I was fine with it and he seemed to be too. It was hard for a whole because he was my bud, I told him everything. After a week or so that's when the evil broke out. He started saying things, twisting my words, lying. Now mind you I can take a lot of crap but some of the stuff did hit home. I talked to him about but he denied it all. Eventually it was all forgotten. But not all was forgiven. How someone treats you at the end of a relationship is far more telling about their character than how they treated you during one. That was hard to accept but looking back, it was the right thing to do.

Losing the right people and the wrong people are two different stories. Both which have and ending but different outcomes. Its our duties as Christians to see Gods work in each story. Yes, sometimes its hard, its a long process but I promise you this; when one door closes another opens.

Shut Me Up

I'm gonna tell everybody what you did, tell em what you did to me. I saw you with that who did, underneath the willow tree. Two timin bandit, caught you red handed, no free card out of jail. If your gonna kiss I'm gonna tell. You can't shut me up can't hush my mouth, I'll bang a drum, I'll be so loud. You can't cover up the truth with duct tape, boy it's gonna hit you like an earthquake. Gonna sound like thunder from your rooftop, all day, all night, can't make me stop. I'm the siren that you can't unplug. No you can't shut me up!

Christianity

     I believe that Christianity is not a religion but, a relationship. In a religion you have to go out and find a god. In a relationship God finds you. In a religion you have no personal relationship. But a relationship with God is real and personal. I believe that people fall from Christ because they claim it to be a religion. A religion has you in a chain and collar, full of do’s and don’ts. More people would stay followers if they treated it as a relationship. Full of love and comfort. Yes, things won’t always be easy, but wouldn't you rather have your Father, the Master of the universe, by your side? He'll carry you if you let Him.

The biggest growing religion today is Islam. This is because the Muslims welcome anyone and everyone in, the trick is, once you’re in, there’s no getting out. I believe they turn to Islam because they have had a bad experience with a Christian. What non believers don’t understand is that just because we’re Christians doesn't mean we’re perfect. We have off days just like everyone else. We ain't perfect.

Maybe thats not it. Maybe non believers see Christianity as a threat. Non believers see us standing up against the homosexuals and abortions. Maybe they feel that we’ll go against them. Raise up as a nation and conquer the world. Non believers see us everywhere. Non believers watch us as we pray for our meals in public. They hear us when we say the Lord’s Prayer. Perhaps they feel uncomfortable, maybe even out of place. I bet they feel just as we do around Muslims.

Whatever their reason may be, its our duty as God’s Prince and Princess to show them the amazing relationship we have with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

But then again. It’s not just non believers. Ask yourself, are we treating Christianity as a relationship? We may say of course, but truly, we’re no better than the Muslims. We act more like the Pharisees than the Gentiles. We only accept what we’re sure of. If its different wwe throw it out, reject it, even if its something good. We’re scared of change. If its not us, its no one.

Maybe that’s what we all need, change…

If we stopped acting like we’re the best, stop shoving Christianity down people’s throats then maybe, they’d come to Christ. If we’d stop letting people throw us around, stand up for what we believe in. They try and take God’s name out of our national anthem, off of our dollar bill, out of schools...and we don’t do anything to stop them. That’s showing a real relationship right there. God’s always there for us but we don’t do a thing for Him. So let’s make some noise! Let our voices be heard! We have as much right as anyone else. Lets show the world how powerful our relationship with God is. Lets show the world how powerful untided Christains can be.

Society

Society tells us to be who we are. To not follow in others footsteps but make our own. So we listen and be who we are. But suddenly that's not good enough. We're too different. Not good enough. If girls find comfort in being friends with boys they're called sluts. If girls hang around with girls they're bitches. If you don't see eye to eye with someone its a tragedy. You can't have your own opinion. You can't do what you think is right. You watch as the people you call your friends yell at you for the smallest thing. But if you talk to them about something you get yelled at for it being none of your business. You just can't win.